By October 2, 2014 Parenting, People No Comments

What Is An Archetype Anyway? definition: The original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied oron which they are based; a model or first form; prototype.

Examples of Archetypes: Aggressive boss, loving husband (or wife), victim, leader, champion, looser, patriot, parent, child, teacher… Ok, you get the idea. We are a “label” society and have labels for everything. In fact, I know some people cannot fully understand something or someone until they have labeled them or put them in a category. Once in a category they can then approach or interact with this person or situation by applying what stye now about that label… or Archetype.

How would you approach a person that is weeping while spilling their life’s story of pain and of being a victim? Compassionately? Sternly? or with detachment? Chances are you will deal with them based upon your dominant Archetype (or the archetype that you hold dominant at any given time). You see, we can move from one Archetype to another many times in a day. Even many times in a situation. Archetypes are energy. Your energy flows constantly. It can flow high or low. Positive or negative. And, in each case carries with it the energy of the Archetype. It is hard to be in a very high vibration or great mood and carry the Archetype of a victim, for example.

So, think about what Architypes you hold in your mind. In your thinking. In your vibration. Be “present” about it. Meaning live in the now and be conscious about what Archetype you are allowing to come through you. You can simply look at how you are feeling. If you are dominating or controlling your kids when you really want to allow them to be free thinkers and learn how to approach a problem and solve it on their own, then you need to change Architypes. Change your approach. Change who you are allowing to dominate your feelings. Since I have been a volunteer in the Boy Scouts of America program for the last ten years, I can always allow the ScoutMaster Archetype come through when dealing with any youngster. What does that mean? It means patience. It means understanding that life is a process just like scouting is a process. It means guiding the youngster, but allowing them to figure out their struggles while providing a safe environment to do so. The learning will be much greater. Adults like expediency. But, that steals from a youngsters opportunity to learn about themselves and the world around them.

Once you practice this a bit, you will find it is easy to switch between Archetypes. First, learn what yours are and write them down. How do you learn what they are? Simple. Sit quietly and think of your actions over the last week, month, and year. How have you acted and what dominates your thinking or your approach to events in your life. What sticks out? Is it that you always feel defeated before you start or that know one wants to be with you? That sounds like the victim Archetype. So, work through your life a bit and write them all down. Next, decide which Archetype feels better for you. What do you want to dominate your life. Is it the unconditional love-parent? Is it the winner Archetype? As you say them you will actually begin to feel the energy of them. Winning. Winning Archetype. You are a winner. I love it.

Now that you have a list of your Achetypes and those that you want to dominate in your life, you can begin to do that… and as you feel a lesser energetic Archetype start to take you over… say “Stop” that is now welcome here. I reject you. I allow ______ (fill in the blank) Archetype (or attitude) to come through. Then repeat what that Archetype means to you. For example winning Archetype would be: I am a winner. I love being a winner. I help others around me be winners too.

Practice and have fun with it.

©2014 ProudParent, LLC

The questions was asked – What if you want to bring out your Winner Archetype, but you just don’t “feel” that energy now?

Great question. It pertains to changing any given feeling at any time.

So, let’s say you are feeling down, but want to allow your Winner Archetype to come through. Regardless of your age, at some point you have had success in your life. A time when you set out to do something and were a success. Therefore, you know how it feels to BE a success or to have won. So, use that feeling to your advantage. Think about how it made you feel no matter how small the success might have been it was still a success. Feel the success from  head to toe. Get the “can do” feeling and attitude going.

I’ve known family counselors that help their clients understand that just the simple task of getting out of bed in the morning to meet the day is a success. Getting up and getting dressed. Saying to the world here I am and I’m ready to take you on. Success.

Or how about the really great meal that you prepared for yourself and/or your family. You shopped for the ingredients, prepared the meal, and enjoyed the flavors as it nourished your body. Yum.

Sometimes our lives get too busy, too filled up with meaningless “stuff” that we forget to celebrate the accomplishments of the day. Take time in the evening with your family to reconnect and review the successes. Help your kids put into perspective the challenges they may have overcome that day and help them bring out the Winner Archetype within them. Do this each day and it becomes a habit.

The point is that everyone can “find” that feeling within themselves.

Begin today.