Head To Heart Parenting
What is Head To Heart Parenting?
Knowing the difference between thinking from the head or living in the heart is one of the most beneficial experiences you can have, in my opinion.
The brain is a great place to hold information. As a parent (new or otherwise) we gather information on what to do or not to do in order to protect our child or help them grow up as responsible, caring, and loving human beings. Our brain holds this data. Categorizes this data and makes it available when we seek it in certain situations. Our brain also does something interesting (again, in my opinion). It adds the notion of worry. As parents we worry. Am I doing “it” right? Will he/she turn out ok? Am I too lenient or too strict?
Parenting (or even just living) from the heart is a completely different experience. Pay attention to how you make your decisions. Where is the answer to your question coming from? Is it your head? Did you access all the information stored in your brain then analyze it and come up with a solution or answer? Or did you act from the heart, because it “felt” like the right thing to do regardless of anything else.
To illustrate my point I’m going to tell you a story. This is the story of when this really hit home for me and I felt the difference of being in the head or the heart. It was during a drive from a scouting event with a fellow scout dad. We were chatting about the fact my friend wanted to sell his boat, because he did not get much use out of it. He was describing the feeling of regret to see it go as it was a great source of fun for he and his family when they did get a chance to use it on those rare occasions. He even described those occasions with great heart felt clarity. But, the notion of spending the money to take care of it throughout the year was a definite drain on the household budget.
I was listening to his description as I drove trying to help him “think” the process through. I offered… “what if you sell it and use part of the money to rent a boat a time or two throughout the year.” The lake they used did offer boat rentals. As I was describing this my friend said… “what I would really like to do is sell it and take the money and do something really special for my wife. She has worked so hard and really deserves something special.”
This caught me off guard. As it turned out, I was trying to help “solve” a problem that did not exist. I immediately felt the power of moving from my head to my heart. I felt the love in my friends words. It was like getting hit by a MAC truck.
This whole experience set me off on a journey of looking at all the times I live in my head apposed to my heart. Making decisions or reacting from the heart is 100% different from the head. The power of love is immense. The lack of worry is also very noticeable.
Im not saying to ignore the information in your head. There is a purpose for all the knowledge you gather and store in your brain. I say, get educated. Understand the world around you. Understand as many different points of view as you can. For sure. What Im saying is to use the information in your brain together with your true “knowing” in your heart. I believe in doing the right thing from your heart. Your heart holds great knowledge.
I encourage you to practice feeling the difference between when you are “in” your head or in your heart. I don’t think I need to describe if much further, because I think you WILL feel it. When you come across a decision that begins with “Should I” then see where the answer comes from.
Write these moments down for a month and track them. See if you experience a shift in your perspective, your approach to things, or your parenting style. I believe that before you know it you will be incorporating this concept into how you communicate with and teach your kids.
Drop us a note with your experiences.
Energy shifts from head to heart.