ProudParent Experiential Learning series

How perspective effects parenting style, your child(ren), and your life.

I mention perspective, because it is the guiding force behind your ability to 1) live in the moment, and 2) experience greater joy from each moment.

For those of you that have a few years on them, as I do, can appreciate the notion of looking back upon a situation where you feel differently now than you did at the time. The added advantage of perspective gives you a more rounded view of the experience. For those who take the opportunity to reflect upon different situations a growth process within us can occur. Additional lessons can be learned beyond those that were learned at the time of the particular event. Perspective is a wonderful teacher.

So, how does perspective help you live in the moment? You ask.

The older you get the more perspective you might gain. It is unfortunate that in our country we tend to discount those with a few white hairs… While other cultures hold these wise people in higher esteem. Don’t get me wrong. I understand that there is a place for young whipper snappers and their look, fire, aim mentality. Just as there is wisdom to be gained from the older wiser among us… But lets get back to perspective and living in the moment.

To me, perspective helps me realize all the time wasted on sweating the small stuff. I realize all the negative emotions I let run through me at different times that stole from the the absolute joy that can be found in each and every moment. This is the battle we wage in our lives. We choose how we react to each moment. We also choose what we take with us from one moment to the next. How many times have you experienced something that was very… shall we say… unpleasant and yet allowed those feelings to ruin the rest of the day. That was a choice and it stole time from you and effected you an many levels. It most likely effected those around you too.

Learning to not sweat the small stuff is a blessing. It can also take quite a bit of practice. First, you find  yourself “telling” yourself not to let it bother you, but you still “feel” bad. That’s OK. It is a first step. Take that step. Keep doing it. Eventually, you will move from your head, which is where you are when you are “telling” yourself to do things and you will move into your heart. It is in your heart where you begin to “feel” that you are not letting the small stuff matter. Follow your emotions. They are your best guide. Get out of your head and thinking about it and move into your heart and start feeling it. Once you control this, you will begin to be neutral about an event that might have otherwise upset you. From this step you can move to a more  positive perspective of being happy and you will be able to “protect” this feeling of happiness from external influences. I’m not saying this is easy by the way. We have been trained all our lives to think otherwise.

Yet if you take baby steps in this direction, you will begin to realize that what you typically worry about is not as hugh as you thought, because you will be looking at it through perspective. Trust in your heart and give it a try.

Tell yourself you are going to remain happy. Then make sure you do things in the day to be happy. Listen to your favorite music when you need to…. Move your body. Go for a walk. Get in motion. Jump up and down if you can. Think of others other than yourself. Again, take baby steps.

The more you keep doing this the more you reprogram yourself. The typical thought is doing something for at least 21 days in a row changes old habits. I encourage you to take steps to brighten each moment you live. We only get so many. They Zip by very fast. Why spend them worrying.

To Do:

1) Write down those things you love to do
2) Write down those things in your past that you worried about that turned into nothing
3) On a separate piece of paper, write down those things you worry about now. Now (safely) burn that piece of paper. Let it go. Give it up.
4) Write down what you are going to think about anytime a negative issue slips into your mind.

Im not talking about burying your head in the sand like an ostrich. Im talking about controlling what  you think about. You will end up getting more of what you think about. Think negative, get negative.  Be positive, get positive.

Find a thought that you can always retreat to no matter how bad life gets. Your safe thought. Use the “feeling” of this thought to get you back on the right track toward feeling better and enjoying the moment.

Our lives are strung together one moment after the next. How are you choosing to spend yours and what baggage are you bringing from one moment into the next?

Perspective is a blessing.


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